fat people 19
Fat people just piss me off! One of the most annoying aspects of a fatty is the amount of space (the 'footprint', if you will) they occupy. Do you ever notice just how hard it is to get around these tubs of lard as they walk single, double or even triple down a hallway or sidewalk (but usually double is enough to more than fill all available space)? And do you further notice that when you try to squeeze your thinner ass past them (for they no longer walk but lumber/waddle at an infuriatingly slow pace) they get indignant? Moreover, do you ever notice they usually tend to walk in a herd of two or more? At work doesn't it annoy you when you need to get to some papers or to the copier or computer, etc. when a fatty is standing in they way and you just can not get around their astronomical ass? However, if that is not enough, they seem to relish being annoying in such a manner, having a smug attitude after you are inconvenienced by having to plot a course around their equator. Just today as I was riding my bike to work I had to ride in the rough to get around two fatties lumbering down the sidewalk, who where then (surprise!) indignant that I went around them.
Look, I will say up front that I am a doctor (that is an M.D., not a chiropractor, not a dentist, not a Ph.D) and I will tell you from many fucking years of school and residency that there are some basic things all fatties (in fact, all people) should understand. Are you all ready? This is some pretty basic shit that most people will never grasp:
90% of your weight gain is from what you put in your piehole! Re-read this first sentence until it sinks in! Think of calories like money in a checking account: if you balance the books at the end of the day your weight will stay the same. If you expend more than you take in you WILL lose weight.
Fat people expend more calories than thin (as much as that sucks for thin people). No really, a 350-pound fatty will burn in the neighborhood of 3000-4000 calories a day carrying around all that extra lard! A thin person does 2000-2500. Therefore, fat people do need to eat a hell of a lot more to keep (and gain!) weight.
Re-read #1 and #2 again and put down the cakes and the pies and the chips and the cookies and get off your fat ass and get some God Damned exercise!
Realize that with the exception of rare (and often fatal!) genetic diseases, there is really no medical condition that makes you gain weight and not be able to take it off. Diabetes, hypothyroidism, "slow metabolism" (whatever the fuck that means), hormones and "genetics" (the tar-baby of all fatty excuses) may make it harder to loose weight as quickly but will never stop you from losing weight (re-read #1 through #3).
Therefore, I will say with authority that FAT=LAZY with basically no exceptions. Now for those ready to flame away at your greasy keyboards with your pudgy fingers, take a really, really fucking honest look at who you are, how much you eat and to what extent you exercise and tell me with a strait face that you "eat like a bird" or "just can't help gaining weight even though I watch what I eat and exercise". Please, who am I kidding, almost all the fatties will score 0/3 every time.